You are extraordinarily beautiful. A perfect whitetail doe pacing softly through switchgrass in the hours of twilight, your wet snout kissing weeds as the penumbric shadow of the earth transfigures orangelicked clouds farthest from the setting sun to gun metal gray. Your skin is the pallor of autumn love. Can I mail you a microphone so you can record various coughing/sneezing noises please. Your eyes are cognac diamonds. Your hair has the sheen of an Andalusian mare. Can I PayPal or Venmo you three hundred dollars for a video of you eating your own hair. You don’t have to shave your head, or slice your hair ragged or lopsided or anything like that. I just need to see you slowly forking little bunches of your own hair into your mouth, preferably with teeth visible, chewing, and swallowing. You don’t have to say anything to the camera and I would prefer if you remained in perfect silence, but make eye contact with the lens. I would prefer it very very loud, so that I can hear the chewing, swallowing, and breathing, very clearly. Can I mail you a seven foot ōdachi samurai sword so you can pose for it with various pics. Can I send you an elaborate headdress that resembles the rodete coils on the Lady of Elche, the masterpiece of Iberian sculpture? Do you think thoughts spatiotemporally “take place” within the brain? Your collar bones remind me of richly coloured coral. Sometimes when I go to sleep I sort of kiss my shoulder, not out of loneliness or anything but just because when I’m laying on my side its close to my mouth and I’m an affectionate person. I cry thinking about bugs I squished when I was younger and more callous, and I know we probably don’t live anywhere near each other, and I know we have divergent personalities, and I know we’re probably physically mismatched, and I know this website, the web, maybe this whole world Is designed to make people mentally ill, and I know you’ve probably been messaged by other guys like this, and I know you know I’ve spoken to your best friend, and I know you know I’m weird, and I know you know I’m disabled, and I know you know I’ve watched that video of you eating ice nearly four hundred times, and I know you know I’m perverted and depraved, and I know you know I know you’re beautiful, and I know you know I know you’re unavailable, and I know you know I know this won’t work, and I know you know I know you won’t even send the hair video, and I know you know I know you’d probably charge a lot more but I’m a student and I don’t have that much money and I know you know I know you know I love you, and I can save you.